First Chapter First Draft No Title

 Below is a first draft of a first chapter for my novella. It's terrible, but I wanted to show you how things can begin. I began with a female character who has died (I do know the details). She walks into the world beyond and is greeted by a driver. He takes her to where she needs to go. Everything else I created in the last hour - it is not good, but it is a start. FYI: First drafts almost always suck:

     Woosh, the door opens, and she steps into the alley. Across the way is Tony's Pizza, next to it is Arcade Shoe Repair, and in front of her is a 1963 black Lincoln Continental convertible. The rear passenger door is open and he's waiting for her.

     "My lady," he said, with a nod and smile.

     "Mimm kay," she said, getting into the car. "What is this?"

     He waits to answer, as he moves around to the front of the car. Opening his door, he climbs in, sits, and starts the engine. "This is the Arcade." He said, looking back at her, "but the first question should be, what was before this? I have to know what I need to explain, before we get there."

     "I don't know," she answered, "and get where? "

     "Wow, a blank slate," he said, driving to the street at the end of the alley and making a right turn. "As for where, that's the place you go next. Maybe that'll ring a bell."

     "Still don't understand." She said. "None of this makes sense. Why are you?"

     "No, no, no, it all makes sense," he said, continuing down a street with limited traffic, but all the cars are identical to the Lincoln he is driving. "Everything has a point, we might not know what it is, but it does. Oh, and I'm Driver or the driver. I am what I do. See, that's my point in all this. I ... we, there's more than one of us, wait for you to come out and we drive you. I don't know where we're going, but I can get you there. That's my purpose. Does that make sense?"

     She doesn't answer, as she realizes they’re riding in a large city. The street is one way, and she notices all the street signs have markings she doesn't recognize. She spots a bridge in the distance and guesses that's part of the route. Nothing is familiar and she tries to remember anything before the door. "I don't even know my name." She said.

     “That could be a good thing," Driver said, "it's not for me to say, but I've learned this all has a reason." He moves to a center lane and begins crossing the bridge. "I've never liked driving over these things. Not sure why."

     He doesn't even know all the answers to his own questions, she thought. I bet he came out of the door, got into a car, and they took him to someone who told him he'd be driving the rest of us around. I hope the hell I don't have to do that. This car is too large.

     Once across the bridge Driver turns right onto a less busy street. They're still in the city, just a different part and she notices a huge building ahead of them. It's a sports stadium. Probably for football, she thinks, then smiles because she knows what football is. Across from it is another structure, less attractive, and as the car turns into it, she realizes it is a parking garage.

     "Are we there?" she asks, noticing that all the cars parked are Lincolns.

     "Almost," Driver answers, continuing until he spots two empty parking spaces together and he pulls into one of them. "Sometimes these things are too damn big, and yes we are there. At least you are. I'm just getting you where you need to go."

     "So now what?" she says, looking at the rows of identical vehicles. "Why am I here?"

     "There," Driver points to a car parked three rows away. "Sticking out like a sore thumb. That's a 2019 Ford Fusion. Kind of boring, if you ask me, but I bet it's easy to park."

     "What am I supposed to do?" she asked, and for the first time she sounds nervous.

     "I don't know," Driver snapped. "Listen, this is how things work for us. We walk into the alley, get in a car, and go to our place. That white car is your place. That's why you are here. I told you before, everything has a purpose. This is yours, and you'll figure out what it is once you get there."

     "I'm scared," she said.

     "We all are," Driver said. "I understand, but you really can't get hurt. We're dead, at least for now. That car is part of the next for you. Go on, before you get into it take a moment. the why will come to you."

     Driver opened his door and reversed the path around the car until he was on her side of the Lincoln again. He opened her door and took her hand, as she got out of the car. He smiled.

     "I'm still scared," she said.

     "I'll be parked here," he said, "you'll never be without a ride."

 

 

 

Doing a Work Shop.

 I have a Zoom call scheduled tomorrow with Joe Mynhardt, of Crystal Lake Entertainment. He's heading a novella workshop running through June and July and we will be discussing a story I'd like to write. I want/need to have certain ideas and notes written out prior to the call. Characters, setting, theme, whatever will help.

Working Title: Gone – might change, but now it fits, since I like calling it something that works with the story. This is a Butterfly Effect type tale. Done many times, so the importance is in the telling.

What I Know: There are six characters. I know that one will be given the chance to return to the moment in his past that “changed everything”. He has reasons for following multiple paths, and he must decide.

It is possible that other characters will be offered the chance to do this as well.

Rules: There are two rules for those who return to their past. First, they will remember most of the life they left, but not everything. Second, each time they repeat returning to the past they will remember less from the life they lived.

Characters:

Eli Thorne: Protagonist – Following 17 years in an unhappy marriage, and the death of his daughter, during attempting suicide he is offered the ability to return to that moment where he can change his outcome.

Ashley Thorne: Married to Eli, she’ll begin the story presented with flaws, but much will be discovered and explained.

Evelyn (Evie) Thorne – At the moment, I am beginning the story on her seventeenth birthday. This is also the day she will die, in a gruesome auto accident.

Kimberly and Bianca Bower – Listed together, because they are identical twins and best friends of Evie. Although they will be killed in the opening scene, I believe they can play an important role in the story. A challenge for me will be to develop different personalities for each.

Ana Chen – we meet her in the first chapter as the emergency room doctor, who speaks to Eli following his daughter’s death. The name could change because this character could be a bit of a changeling. She is also the one who controls the gift of returning to past lives. This is my antagonist, not considered evil or “the bad guy”, but more so the one who controls the rules/setting for those who decide to return to their past.

Can I Share More: If you made it this far, I could give you a little more info. Eli and Ashley meet while in high school, after graduation they marry and move from Atlanta to Nashville, where they attend college at Vanderbilt University. During their senior year, Ashley becomes pregnant, and Evie is born. Weeks after bringing their daughter home, Ashley reveals that she isn’t happy with the marriage. She explains reasons for not wanting to divorce, adding that her father’s lawyer could destroy him.

Eli agrees to stay with Ashley, only to be near Evie. They move back to Atlanta, where he begins working for his father-in-law and this continues until the night of Evie’s accident, and she is killed.  Shortly after the funeral, Eli plans his own death, which is halted when he can return to his youth and alter his future.

 

 

 

A Few Words on Subtext

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Creating Better Characters and Stuff

 

Hey Folks, just a quick check-in between shifts this week (working 10am to 6pm today and Friday, then chilling for five-hour days on Saturday and Sunday). No desire to talk about work – let’s ramble on writing.

Today, I want to delve a little into the world of character development, specifically how I'm upping my game with my current novel, "Gone." In the past, I confess, my characters weren't exactly...well-rounded. Take the three teenage girls in the first chapter: identical twins, Bianca and Kim, and their friend Evie. They're driving around town, celebrating Evie's birthday – what could go wrong? (Big hint: a planned accident, which you'll discover later).

Here's the thing: in my earlier works, these girls would have swapped dialogue like shuffled cards. Bianca speaks, then Kim, then Evie, with no thought to their personalities. Now, I'm creating detailed character profiles and arcs. Each girl will have distinct motivations, even if some of them remain hidden until their later "returns" (remember, this is a horror story!).

This shift from plot-driven to character-driven writing is all about reader connection. By letting my characters breathe and react authentically, I'm hoping to create a more engaging story.

Speaking of the story – you guessed it, there's more to the suicide pact than meets the eye. The real twist? Evie’s father gets a shot at reliving the day "everything changed." Yep, it's a classic "second chance" trope, but I believe I can spin it in a fresh way. Plus, the "gift" won't be limited to Eli (that’s Dad) – the girls and even the wife might get their own do-overs. Here's the kicker: these "returns" might not always be human. Imagine coming back as an eagle, a cat, or even a rattlesnake! (Maybe even a male character returning as female – the possibilities are wild!) I got to be honest – I don’t know yet where this is going.

Don’t I outline...not really my thing. I start with a loose framework, but the story often takes unexpected turns. Half the time, I don't even know the ending until I'm typing! That's where the fun twists come in (I can't resist them!).

Short thought: Everyone has a story. Don't be afraid to grab a pen and paper, or pound away at the keyboard. Even if it's a "shit draft" (I credit Hemmingway for that one – not sure) get your ideas out there. You can always revise later.

Happy writing, everyone!

How I Feel About Taking a Decade Off

 

For some, the year 2014 might conjure up memories of viral challenges or the rise of ride-sharing apps. For me, it marks the year I went silent; a bad case of writer's block slammed the brakes on my writing career.

Ideas, though? I had them. A dozen stories buzzed in my head, notebooks, index cards, digital note pads filled with thoughts that refused to turn into narratives. The frustration was immense. I would struggle, just to produce a paragraph, but produced nothing. So, I gave up. I quit. I never used those words (even to myself), but I wasn’t publishing. It was terrible.

For a decade, I accomplished nothing, as. time passed the nagging sense of "what if" lingered. Then we hit 2024 and it was like a spark has been lit. I have to stop with the mental punishment I put myself through, wondering what the hell happened. Perhaps, I needed the break (for whatever the reason). The important thing is that I have the stories and I’m a killer on the keyboard (my wife tells me I, “type mad”). I’m writing again.

I’m viewing my 70^th year this July, but longevity is a gift that runs in my family. There's time, I tell myself, time to spin those thoughts in my head into readable tales (I like that). The key, I believe, lies in organization. As I mentioned, my fingers still fly across the keyboard, and I'm setting a (slightly ambitious?) goal of 5,000 words a week.

This blog serves as a promise not just to me, but to you, the reader. Here, I'll share my ups and downs, the triumphs and tribulations, the characters, and the worlds I will build. This will be a front-row seat to the resurrection of a writer.

Got to stop. I apologize for the ramble. I get into these moods. I need coffee. Come back soon.

Where Ideas Come From

 

OK, where do story ideas come from? Anywhere, everywhere – totally out of nowhere. Since I began writing I’ve constantly said, “Anyone can write a story.” Possibly, but not anyone can write a good story. To do that, one needs to come up with an idea. Can you learn how to do this? You can probably learn anything, but not everyone will be good at it. I believe I am. This is not bragging, because I have so many weak areas. Creating a story isn’t one of them.

A story idea can come to you at the least expected time, and sometimes it takes years to go from idea to writing the story. Here I’ll briefly share where some of mine came from:

Gifted Trust – began watching a made-for-tv movie about the murder of Adam Walsh (son of America’s Most Wanted host John Walsh). That led to a poem for a college class and 20 years later it was turned into a short story for another class and 18 months later it became a 100K novel.

Hello Neighbor came to me watching a news reporter interviewing conservationists. I turned them into a radical tree hugger who threatened to kill my main character after killing his cat.

I rented a room to a guy who used to live in his girlfriend’s bedroom in her parent’s house. When he told me that I thought, what if the girl was seriously injured in a car accident and living on life support in her bedroom. That might give the boyfriend a reason to stay.

I wrote Prader-Willi after doing volunteer work with someone who suffered from it. This is a terrible syndrome where those who have it will eat anything. This became a frightening story.

Little Miss was inspired by a friend of my 2^nd wife, who forced her daughter to take part in beauty pageants. The mother would do anything to help her little girl win.

On a vacation to New Mexico, I visited a Native American reservation and from that visit wrote Runs Like Rabbit. I created a character who keeps calling home and imagines his family being murdered.

Monkey Love began as a 3-beer joke. I would drink and when asked what I was working on I’d say, “A story about a woman who believes her husband is a reincarnated gorilla.

I wrote Marquee when I was asked by a publisher to write something totally different from Monkey Love. Of all my stories, these two have more of me than any of the others.

The point – ideas come from everywhere. One needs to look at an idea and think “what if…” and add to what they have.

 

Later

The Bucket List I Never Planned on Writing

 

I just completed a Lifespan Calculator assessment, and the findings suggest that I shall live to the age of 90. Considering my mother and grandmother made it to 92 and 99 respectively, it makes sense. I don’t use tobacco, rarely drink alcohol and there are no Biden signs in my yard. If my wife doesn’t rent a woodchipper I am probably safe.

 I am approaching my 70^th birthday and for the last 45 minutes I’ve been contemplating writing out a bucket list, because in the future I might not remember what I wanted to do before I die. I will post it below – with extremely little thought. That is how I roll. Let’s have it. My list in no order (although it would be cool if some of these things happened while I still can enjoy them:

 . Spend an afternoon (morning or evening would work) with all my grandkids (at different times) so I could really get to know them and let them know me better. Eventually they might read my stories and want them to know I wasn't as creepy as I appeared to be.

. Travel – if it has a beach and the sun, I’d be happy, but I would love to visit DC with my wife or any place she might suggest. We haven’t traveled since the Pandemic, and I miss it.

. Quick working away from home – not today, or soon. I feel healthy enough to work, but I’m not always going to be young and the drive to and from Nashville is 45 minutes each way.

. Take a trip to my hometown (Coldwater, Michigan) and have coffee with old friends. Social media is great for bonding, but I’d like to make an extra effort.

. Take myself seriously as a writer. If I accomplish this, others might follow, but what I think about myself is most important. I am working on this.

. See my brothers again without involving a funeral. Sorry for how I put that, but we’re all “getting up there” and although we got together last year, I miss them.

. To win a Bram Stoker Award – testing to see who reads this. I don’t want to swamp you with items connected to writing, but with 20 years left this is important to me. I write daily (or plot out pieces of stories) and plan to have 3 novels completed in the next two years. Hopefully some shorts as well (that means available for readers).

. Be a better husband – in case she reads this I will make it short. I’ve got a wonderful wife and want to make her happy. I can be quite irritating at times.

Stopping at eight items, otherwise it would be forced, and I can always add more (I have 20 years). I’ve always thought bucket lists were stupid, but I think we all have them. We just don’t write them down.

 

Have a great day.

Creating an Antagonist

 

Writing my first story (working title: Gone) in a decade, and I’m attempting to put more consideration into character building. In the past, less thought was put into them. I went with my gut, which doesn’t tell you much beyond if it felt good, I used it.  I have learned that if you want to create multiple levels, it pays to consider the nature of your character.

I’m considering the above in reference to developing an antagonist for Gone. Let me give you an idea as to what I had in mind in the beginning. Who is my antagonist? The villain? Not necessarily. It’s the character or thing that stirs the story up. When I wrote Gifted Trust, it was Virago (a badass evil entity who made the lives of most of the other characters hell. In Jaws it could be the shark or even the mayor, who wanted to keep the beach open. The antagonist can be a bad storm or the feeling of loneliness. It is something that if you took it out of the story, there wouldn’t be one.

The original idea of Gone was simplistic. I had my protagonist, a husband and new father, who is forced into remaining in a relationship for his daughter’s sake. As a teen, the girl dies in an accident and the man offered (by the antagonist) the chance to return to the moment that changed his life so he can make corrections.

 I ask again, who is my antagonist? Originally, I saw this as a “deal with the devil” sort of plot – trading for a soul. I wasn’t sure if that was the direction I wanted to go with the story. Still not sure of everything, but I’m not leaning on an evil antagonist, although I am looking at a character like Mephistopheles from Faust and did a pre-Christian search on Pan for personality.

I'm going with Mephista Abendroth ("evening red" in German. It has an air of mystery. Possibly nicknamed Meph or Misti and though she's going to shake things up I don't see her as a source of evil. Although she has a finger in on what is going on.

That’s a start. I’m putting together notes now on her.

Have a good day.

Story Ideas

 The following are possible story ideas:

Working Title - Gone: Years in an unhappy marriage, when a man's daughter dies, he is allowed to repeat life from the moment things went wrong.

Working Title - Friend Request: A man receives a social media friend request from an old high school friend he doesn't remember. Creepy memories are shared, and he is not allowed to break up the friendship.

Working Title - Obeah Man: With a tool kit filled with good ju ju, he can fix any kitchen appliance or something else if you pay the price.

Working Title - Horror Writer: On their first date, he shares a frightening story idea with her. Twenty years later it appears to be coming true.

Working Title - Changelings: Fairies, elves, mermaids, nixies, goblins, imps, demons, trolls and otherworldly creatures are secretly swapping with us.

Working Title - A Different Love Story: A relationship ends when a doctor's wife passes. Or does it?

Working Title - Virago: a continuation to the novel, Gifted Trust.

Working Title - Moving On: Two years following his wife's death, she gives her blessing when he wants to begin a new relationship. There is one condition, of course.

Welcome Back or Something Like That

 A few of you might realize that I opened an extra Facebook page, also titled Semi-Complete Unknown, about a week ago. The intent was to keep posts on my writing to a minimum on my personal page and allow curious individuals (or those who gave a rat's ass) a chance to be a part of my attempt to return to the Horror/Dark Fiction market. For those who don't know, I took a decade off due to some sort of artistic block. 

Well, I went over to my newly created Semi-Complete Unknown page on facebook and discovered dozens of posts I didn't approve. Feeling lack of control I decided to move to his space and go the blog route.  Let's see how this works.

Soon.

John